You've been pretty since the day you were born, So the roots of your beautiful hair.

I feel a whole lot better about myself after that, its not every day that you share chats with a headteacher over some coffee and cake! Ruth's lovely, I feel I can actually do it now, I put myslef down far too much.
Looking back to an old assemly that Mrs Rogers gave us about a can.
'Theres no such thing as can't' or something like that.
If I can ride a horse and do what Ive done with Ralphie then I can pretty much have faith in doing anything else. Im just not used to being around a load of know-it-alls!
Im currently sat on my own doing some Psychology work, I like being on my own sometimes, it gives me time to think. Im buzzin away with my ipod and shizz.
Im confused though, I find it so easy to change my mind...like if I get the grades then I could potentially go to Uni, but then I want to travel and get another horse? I dont know what would be best. I mean I dont want to be stuck doing a shitty little job, I think I go around saying I wont go to Uni cos everyone else is... Im not one to follow anymore, the best thing I can do is think about it, I will put Uni applications in next year and I'll see where I end up. Its money though...
So much going through my head! :S


I love this! I always wish I could go back to that night, was far too good, we were all so happy...


Im so into White lies new album, check it out

Fairwell to the fairground, these rides arent working anymore

I want to give up yet theres something there telling me to troop on, I mean only less than two years of this then I can do what I please right? I've got a few plans, for a start you'l be going off to Uni, so, I can atleast attempt and succeed in losing weight or toneing up, spend more time on work and the horse.
I want to get a simple job buy another horse, preferably a youngter and go from there. Whats stopping me. Oh and once Im 18 im free to go out.
Im wishing my days away but I just want to be old enough to be independant!
Il be driving in a few months and I cant wait.

Maybe I need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep

I adore Ke$ha too much...

So, its february already...shiiiiit.
Not long till summer! Cant wait, hopefully Il be heading off to centreparcs at the start and South France at the end! 4 months till my birthday...and then il be starting to drive! A road trip will be in store for after I pass!!!! Then only a year until Im 18! Ahhhhhhhhh. Im on a high today! So much to look forward to, I have high expectations for Ralphie boy, hopefully buy another one in about 2 years if all goes to plan, I dont care about Uni, but I might change my mind thats if I get the right grades which I doubt! Maybe do a foundation course in horse management, I can imagine it'l be aload of balls though. Ah Il find something to do!

Bangin'

She says she likes my watch, but she wants Steve’s AP
And she stay up all hours watching QVC
She said she loves my songs, she bought my mp3
And so I put her number in my Bold BB
I got a black BM, She got a white TT
She wanna see what’s hiding in my CK briefs
I tell her wear suspenders and some PVC
And then I’ll film it all up on my JVC

Uhh, scene one. Everybody get in your positions.
Pay attention, and listen.
We’re trying get this in one take, so lets try and
make that happen.
Take one, action!

She pose for FHM, She like my Black LV
We spinnin’ LPR, up on my APC
I’m in my PRPS and my Nike SB’s
Ravin’ with SHM, London to NYC
I got my Visa and My Visa
A diva and her dealer
Bitch I’m up on the guest list with the Swedish House
Mafia
You can find me on a table full of vodka and tequila
Surrounded by some bunnies, and it aint fucking easter
I wake up in the morning with a mild case of amnesia
With a girl that like a girl like Lindsay Lohan, Queen
Latifah
If you niggas are balling then boy I must be Fifa
And that’s standard procedure from Miami 2 Ibiza

From Miami 2 Ibiza,Yeah, From Miami 2 Ibiza

Don't it always seem to go that you dont know what you've got till its gone

I have dug myself in, again. I promised myself I wouldnt get like this again not after Ryde high. I seriously think I need help.
Counciling maybe one of the options, It might help me get out of this stupid situation, because I will look back in a few years and regret that I didnt do anything.
As soon as I finish any lesson at college Im just so set on getting out there and going home, and when Im home I forget about college.
Once again Im looking for an easy option out of this, but its not going to happen this time.

I sing for my supper and Im pretty well fed.

Right. This is going to be a long blog.
Firstly, why buy a horse that isnt worth that ridiculous price and then give up on it cos it throws you off? like...twice. It needs exercise! and it needs to go out. You need to fit around his needs not just your own. You need to be positive about this, you are never going to find a horse thats perfect, so why say your going to sell him? You havnt even tried. To get a horse fit and better you need to spend TIME with it, give it fuss and execise it, not just do it when you fancy cos your social lifes more important or you just cant be bothered cos it doesnt do what you want it to do. Makes me angry, I have spent years working with Ralph and look at where its got me, He's the best I could ever get him! and the only horse I could ever ask for. But you don't see it like that, you don't love your horse or any of your previous horse for that matter, Milo loved me and my mum more than you! Because we showed that we cared!
11o'clock+ is a stupid time to be doing your horse in the morning, its not fair for him to be stood in his own shit with no hay for more than 10 hours. He also needs rutine for gods sake, horses like to know whats going on. Blimey Im glad my mum brought me up well. You think your all experienced and shit, but to be honest your no where near. Nether am I but Im the one with the common sense.
Why cant it be like the old times? At one point I thought you actually loved having Milo but that all went to shit, anyway I used to enjoy our laughs and stuff not just with you but your mum aswell, you two used to spend toomuch time round mine but I didnt care! Your family, but ever since Dad told you off for raising your voice in our own house you havnt bothered apologising or even stepping foot in the bloody place. I want you two to stop being so weird and face up to reality, your not right all the time you have to accept that. You were the only close family I had, I have built this back up and yet you still dont bother talking to your own sister, who didnt do anything wrong in the first place and in fact was right all the way through that when your were wrong. This is all unessesary, Im nothing to do with this yet Im stuck in the middle. Nan wouldnt of wanted this and I certainly dont want this anymore.
You know what It feels like everyone around me are drifting away, to be honest I knew it would happen and Ive tried to keep it together but at every angle it fails. and you know what I dont care. Who needs anyone when you've got yourself, your horse and parents. I hate being picked up and dropped when conveiniant, just cos you've "moved on", obviously.
Im sorry but I'm sick of college breaks, I know Im hardly there but Its so boring, No one talks. They just want to work. In a break!!!!!!!! I know not everyone can see it like I do, and thats probably for the best as things probably would never get done..but Its called having a laugh? with 'friends'??? Chilling?
It occurs to me that our 'close' group of friends is infact not very close. Its true.
The only thing that kept us together was school. Fact.
I miss the old old days...
But theres no going back. As per usual, as we've already found out with Ashleigh.
I was so Naive.
Until I can get out of this circle of nothingness Im just going to have to put up with this.
I want to see my yard girls :( whatever the weather theres always a laugh to be had, a ride to be ridden and a bitch to be bitched about, thats how we role and I feel normal doing that. We just dont do it enough and It seems silly, the amount of time we all spend up there yet we hardly talk anymore, like a group.
Ive changed I know, I love being how I am now rather than the old shy me.
If it wanst for Sam I wouldnt of come out of that stupid little bubble of mine,
I may complain about him, (as I look at negatives more than positives) but he has been there whenever I needed him, and to be honest he should never have a bad word said about him, as a person he is pretty genuine. I needn't forget this.

There. I should really write this in a diary instead of posting this on the fucking internet but these days who cares. End of.

This is meganigga ultra nigmatic,

Aha I can blog at college.
Also check out that "checkitout" song by nicki minaj and will.i.am, look at the lyrics...
Im off lessons just finished!